My Mantra

This week’s journal entry:

Do you have a mantra? If so, what is it, and why did you pick this as your mantra?

By Laura Black

Before I get started on this journal entry, I wanted to provide two definitions of mantra. The first definition is “a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation.” The second definition is “a statement or slogan repeated frequently.” Now that I’m studying yoga, I can definitely relate to the connection of the first definition of a mantra being an aid in the concentration of meditation, but what I will be referring to here in this journal is the second definition, a repeated statement.

As part of my “focusing on me” personal project this year, I started reading a book that I’ve had for several years but never read in its entirety. I am a sucker for quotes, phrases, sayings, words of wisdom, whatever you want to call it. It all stems back to words. I LOVE words!!! I am always looking for words of encouragement, and famous quotes are my go-to (that’s a journal for another day).

So, I decided to pick up this inspirational book - Staying Strong: 365 days a year by Demi Lovato. There’s a page for each day of the year, so each day you have a new inspirational quote along with some words of wisdom from Demi. After the quote and words of wisdom, there’s a goal for you to try that’s directly connected to the quote and words of wisdom. On January 1, the following was provided:

            You are beautifully and wonderfully made.

A while back I decided I needed a mantra of my own. Something that was personal and meaningful that I could tell myself to bring comfort and love as well as root myself in the present moment. The Bible says “you are fearfully and wonderfully made,” so I came up with “you are beautifully and wonderfully made.” I say it to myself all the time, and it really helps me find peace knowing that I am perfect just as I am and that I don’t need anything beyond what I have within me.

Goal: In this new year, come up with a mantra that is just yours. Each day, look in the mirror and repeat it back to yourself. (Lovato)

            From that quote and words of wisdom, I created this journal entry idea. Do you have a mantra? If so, what is it, and why did you pick this as your mantra? So, here we go. I do have a mantra, and I’ve been making sure to place this particular mantra in sight as much as possible. That way I can constantly remind myself of it.

            My mantra originated from my main theme song “F**kin’ Perfect” by P!nk. In fact, I wrote about this being my overall theme song back in February 2019 titled “Theme Song.” Because I tattooed my mantra on my right wrist, I did not quote exactly as P!nk’s title - “F**kin’ Perfect.” I changed it to other, more appropriate, words she still quotes in the song, “you’re perfect.”

            Last October, I tattooed this on my wrist because, like my left wrist tattoo that states my all-time favorite quote (“To thine own self be true” by Shakespeare), I wanted the daily reminder. For me, daily reminders help keep me motivated. They keep me grounded. As I mentioned in several past journaling blogs, but more specifically in my last blog entry, “Dance Like Nobody’s Watching,” I struggle with anxiety. For longer than I can remember, part of my anxiety struggle has been not loving myself completely. This is due to many reasons, but it’s mostly due to a lack of confidence in myself and being too critical of myself; therefore, my mantra is an important message and reminder to myself.

Right wrist tattoo

            I’ve even gone as far as writing this mantra in my planner daily. There’s a section in my planner that says affirmation, and you fill in what you want to be your daily affirmation. For me, I have been filling in my mantra – “You’re Perfect” there too. An affirmation can be “emotional support or encouragement,” so I’ve decided to make the affirmation and mantra one and the same.

            So…why is this my mantra? Going back to the song “F**kin’ Perfect,” the meaning there is to show we are perfect the way we are. In fact, we don’t need to be perfect. How we are, who we are, and what we choose to be is “perfect.” By no means do I think I’m perfect. In fact, I feel the exact opposite. I know I’m not perfect, and I’ve finally come to terms with not having to be perfect. No one person is, so I shouldn’t spend a lifetime beating myself up and trying to be what no one can be.  

            My lifelong struggle with myself and reaching self-love was not feeling confident and comfortable with being myself; however, being true to yourself and being able to be “you” should be of great importance. In fact, I whole-heartedly believe it should be the number one goal you reach to achieve in life. I know some won’t agree with me, and that’s perfectly fine. I, however, needed to learn to love myself and be okay with myself in order to fully and completely love others, and that’s where my favorite Shakespeare quote comes in.

            I got my left wrist tattoo with Shakespeare’s quote, “to thine own self be true,” engraved after the divorce of my first husband. Through the process of the divorce and all the emotions and feelings it stirred up, I realized I didn’t love myself because I had not been true to myself for the past 18 years. That’s a long time. So, after this discovery, I decided I needed to place this quote on my wrist as a daily reminder. I needed to be true to myself in order to truly love myself and, in turn, be able to love others properly.

Left wrist tattoo

            Through this constant reminder of being true to myself, I still struggled from time to time. Yes, it has been a lifelong struggle, and it probably always will be, but along with the left tattoo, I needed the extra reminder, “you’re perfect.” It helps to keep me grounded and reminds me not to be so hard on myself.

            We live in a society where we’re too quick to judge and criticize others. We focus so much on being perfect and making others feel inferior if they are not perfect. Why? Why can’t we just accept everyone for who they are? As I said before, no one person is perfect, so why do we focus on it so much?

            Don’t get me wrong; criticism and judgment can be good. For me, it pushes me to be a better person, a better version of myself, but we tend to overdo it. We push the boundaries, and we become too critical and too judgmental. I do welcome criticism and judgment; however, I also know myself better than anyone else. I know what’s best for me, and it definitely may not be the same as what’s best for you. If I become too judgmental and critical of myself, it only causes chaos in my life in the form of major anxiety as well as looking at life in a negative light, which causes me to become critical and judgmental of others. This could be a vicious cycle in which no one needs in their lives. So, how can we fix that?

            Perhaps we should all take a step back, look at ourselves in the mirror, and accept who we are. We should also look around us and accept others for who they are. We are all individuals with our own personalities, and that’s okay. We don’t need to be perfect. We just need to be ourselves.

            So, on days when I’m struggling to remember that I don’t have to be perfect and I’m criticizing myself more than I need to, I read my wrist. Sure, I will still strive to be the best version of myself, but on days when I just need to let it all go, I can look to my wrist and remember “you’re perfect” and call it a day.

            What about you? Do you have a mantra?