My Story
The
Journey of Journaling – a way of life
Life is a journey. On that journey, we
should record our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories. One of the best
ways to do that is through journaling. This is the story of my journey into
journaling and how it has changed my life.
Perhaps as a child, you kept a diary – recording what you did for the day. A
diary is one form of journaling, but journaling can be so much more.
Writing has always been a major part of
my life. As a child, I wrote my deepest, darkest secrets in my diary. Of
course, those secrets only consisted of my latest crush or someone that made me
mad or hurt my feelings. My life’s journey wasn’t all that exciting yet.
As I grew older, I
began to delve into writing short stories and poems.
English was the only subject in school I excelled at, so it only made sense to
pursue it as a career. My mindset: I wanted
a career where I could write. Ultimately, I wanted to write novels. Since the
success rate of publishing a novel was slim, I needed a backup plan. When I would tell anyone my major was English, they
automatically assumed I was going to teach. My first response was always: “No,
I’m going to write.” The thought of becoming a teacher made me cringe. I’m not
even exactly sure why.
Before college, school wasn’t exactly my thing. I passed my classes and showed up.
Math and science were definitely my two worst subjects. Some of those classes I
passed only because I believe my teacher
didn’t want to see me again. English and literature, however, was a different
story. I couldn’t get enough. I was also fascinated with psychology and
sociology. People, in general, fascinate me, especially how the mind works and
how people interact with one another. It was briefly a thought to pursue something in psychology, but the thought passed
quickly. Writing about people would do; however, I still didn’t know exactly what I would do.
After receiving my Bachelors of Arts in
English at NIU, I landed a job as a proofreader for a healthcare company. I
became a professional at proofreading and editing. Before long, I was moving on
to working as an editor for trade magazines. Here was my opportunity to write.
As I quickly realized, writing for trade magazines was not fulfilling. Yes, I
could write, but it was all factual; no creative writing could be done. I was
bored, and, quite frankly, miserable. I needed and craved more.
About four years into my career as an editor,
I decided to take a creative writing class at the local community college. If I
couldn’t get my fill of writing at work, then I would do it on the side. Maybe
that would fill the void.
It didn’t fill the void, but it did make
me realize I needed a career change altogether. My instructor was mediocre at
best. Actually, that’s being polite. What taking this class made me realize is
that I believed I could teach this class better than her. Editing wasn’t for
me, but teaching was definitely a new possibility.
I started to daydream about teaching –
what it would be like, could I really do it, what did I have to offer? I began
to look into graduate programs, but what grade level did I want to teach? I
wanted to teach at a level where the basic concept of writing was already
known. If I went for a graduate degree, I could teach at the community college
level. That sounded like my best option. With a few schools in mind, I applied.
I was accepted to Elmhurst College where I would earn my Master’s in English Studies.
Five long years later, I graduated with my degree. Now it was time to pursue
being an instructor in English.
During the last year of grad school, I
lost my job as an editor. Although this was a stressful time for me, I was able
to concentrate on school and my future career change. Losing my job was a
blessing in disguise. I was so miserable at this
point. I dreaded waking up each morning to spend the day at a job I
hated. I was bitter and angry. I had created a toxic environment for myself,
the toxic mess I called my life.
I started up a freelance writing,
editing, and proofreading company, but that wasn’t making enough money. I had
to take a job locally. I ended up working as an office manager for a
family-owned funeral home. There was a job I would
never have imagined. I was almost finished with school, and this
position allowed me to stay close to home and hope to one day teach locally.
Never did I imagine it would teach me one of the best life lessons thus far: to
embrace life and every moment you have on this earth. Dealing with families at
their most vulnerable time, during the loss of a loved one, you come to realize
how precious life truly is. While you’re here on earth, you should do what you
love and be true to yourself.
I finally received my first opportunity
to teach at Joliet Junior College (JJC) in 2010. The funeral home worked with me allowing me to teach and still work for
them full-time. I was so nervous and thrilled at the same time. Both jobs
offered me the ability to help others, which is what I was meant to do.
During the middle of the semester at
JJC, my home life fell apart. My husband and I had decided to divorce. Although
I had not realized it at the time, part of my toxic mess I called life mostly
stemmed at home.
I was now left with a major life
decision. Where would I reside after the divorce? It was a no-brainer. I had
been so far removed from my family for years, not just physically but mentally,
too. My family meant everything to me. I lived two hours away from them, so it
was hard to see them often. Because I missed them dearly, I needed to go back
home.
As my marriage came to an end and I
struggled to accept it, I began my new adventure – figuring out who I was and
what I wanted to do with my life. I planned to move in with my sister and her
family until I received my divorce settlement and could move out on my own.
I packed up my life thus far, or at
least what I wanted to take with me. There were many sentimental items I chose
not to take in memory of a life I not
only no longer had but no longer wanted to be a part of. My old life with my
husband was not my life, not my true self. It was a life I followed through
marriage, through being the dedicated wife I had been taught to be. I couldn’t
take that past with me, for it was not the future I wanted to pursue. Any part
of that past would only hold me back from finding my true self.
I headed back home to my family without
a job and little money. I did, thankfully, have a roof over my head and the
support of my family and friends. I sent out resumes to all the local community
colleges because one thing I knew was I had to teach. My first and only
semester at JJC made me realize teaching was a must in my future. The
satisfaction it gave me to feel like I was making a difference was incredible.
Even if I only made a difference in one life each semester, that was enough.
By August 2011, I was hired to teach at
two separate community colleges. This was the start of my new life and
adventure. I have been teaching Composition I and II at several local colleges
since. I can now say I truly enjoy what I do. Teaching gives me the balance in
my life to try and help others become a better person. Yes, I teach writing and
how to write different types of essays, but I also show students what the
journey of writing can do for them. Part of that journey begins with
journaling. All my students are required to journal, and most of them find it
beneficial to do so.
In June of 2012, I was able to move out
and live on my own. Everything was falling into place. I was teaching,
journaling, hanging out with family and friends, and figuring out what I wanted
from life. In August of the same year, I began talking to and dating a high
school classmate. We had both been divorced, so we didn’t want to rush into
anything too serious; however, as his daughter pointed out to him in October,
we were no longer just dating.
Joe and I just married in December 2017.
I can honestly say I have found the man that allows me to be me. He supports
and encourages me to do what I love, which makes a world of difference. I can
be my true self with him, and I’m not judged for it. I wish the same for
everyone.
Beyond the classroom, I try to pass on
my journaling techniques and their benefits to others. For the past six years,
I have met with cancer patients at a cancer
center at St. Catherine’s Hospital, also known as United Hospital System, in
Kenosha, Wis. During my presentation, I show patients the different types of
journaling that can be done from basic journaling to art journaling. My goal is
to give them options to release the grief of their illness and help them cope
with the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that go along with having cancer.
Cancer center social worker, Michelle
Honeck, had this to say about my work with her patients: “Our Cancer Center has been fortunate to have Laura Black
present on Journaling Through Cancer to our patients for the last five years.
Her sessions provide information on how journaling can be used as a tool for
expression and an outlet for coping with their illness. The sessions have
become an important part of our programming and are informative and enjoyable
for our patients. Laura is sensitive to the needs of the patients and is
able to connect with them on a personal level. We have received excellent
feedback, and patients who have attended have felt empowered to begin their own
journey with journaling.” I can also truly say I learn from them as well. These
patients empower me to continue my work with teaching others the benefits of
journaling and the healing process it can offer them.
Diary and journal writing has been around for centuries, but the
therapeutic potential of writing wasn’t recognized until psychologist Dr. Ira
Progoff began offering workshops and classes in the 1960s. His method of
“journal keeping” became popular for psychologists and therapists as a method
to help with personal growth and emotional wellness (Adams par. 2).
According to research done by James
Pennebaker and colleagues, when individuals “write about their emotions and
thoughts [they] experience several benefits: increased feelings of well-being,
reduced physician visits, reduced absenteeism
from work, improved academic grades, and enhanced immune system functions
(Lepore & Smyth, 2002; Pennebaker, 1997, 2004)” (qtd. from Moss).
As I said in the beginning, life is a
journey. During that journey, you should record your life and the thoughts,
feelings, emotions, and memories that brought you to where you are today. Journaling
is just one of many methods of writing, and it can be so therapeutic. What I
hope to share with you are the benefits of journaling and how to get started.
Whether you just want to write more about yourself and record your journey of
life, or you want to begin healing from a traumatic experience in your life,
journaling is a good place to start. Journaling will always be a part of my
journey, for writing and teaching writing is my way of life. Although the same
may not apply to you, I’m guessing you’re here for a reason: to give journaling
a try. My hopes are you will enjoy it as much as I do. Happy journaling!
Works Cited
Adams,
Kathleen. “Introduction.” Journal Therapy.
Center for Journal Therapy, 2017.
Moss
PhD., Donald. “Expressive Writing.” Biofeedback.
Winter 2005.
