Life Gets in the Way

This week’s journal entry:

Tell of a time where life seemed to get in the way, and you didn’t have time to do everything you wished to do.

By Laura Black

            Ahhhh…this will be an easy one for me. It seems like life is always getting in my way, especially over the last six months. Yep, that’s how long it’s been since I last wrote and posted a journal online. Life definitely got in my way, starting in June. I last wrote about why vacations are important to me, which seems like eons ago. Man, I sure could use a vacation right now. Wait, I have one. I have the next month off! Woo hoo for me!!!

            So…back to how my life got in the way of not being able to post any journal entries. I had a super busy summer with teaching three classes, which is the most I’ve ever taught over the summer, as well as taking two classes for myself too. I am working on my yoga instructor certification, which I should complete by the end of summer 2020. I also took a class for teacher enrichment, which is basically helping me out, in the long run, to improve as a teacher. It was an online class to teach me how to teach online. It was interesting, but it sure did take up more of my time than I thought it would. Between those three focuses, I felt like I didn’t have much of a summer. I was constantly busy working on one thing or another. And, just as I thought I was approaching the end and would get at least one week off before the fall semester began, my dad ended up in the hospital.

            On the last day of summer class, I received a text from my mom to let my siblings and I know she was taking my dad to the ER. He had been struggling with breathing and doing any kind of major or minor activity for a while now. It only seemed to be worse, and my mom finally said enough is enough. She was taking him in. So, as soon as I wrapped up my last class, I rushed home, packed my bags, and headed to my parent's house. With all my final grading to do, I packed that as well and decided I was in for the long haul. I didn’t care how long I needed to stay. I would be there no matter what.

            They ended up keeping my dad overnight, for they had more tests to run in the morning. His heartbeat was irregular, and they needed to figure it out. My mom came home that night, and I stayed there with her. The next morning, we got up early and headed straight to the hospital. In the end, my dad had a stent put in his heart. He was lucky, to say the least. It was a long, draining week of going back and forth to the hospital. I went home for only hours at a time, but I mostly was either at my parents or at the hospital. I had my computer with me to grade and submit final grades for the summer semester.

            A week after my dad was admitted, he was able to go home and start his recovery. It’s been a process, but he’s doing well now. He’s down over 20 pounds, and he’s done more activity in these past few months than he’s been able to do in years. I’m so glad he’s doing well, and I hope he only continues to get better. After his week in the hospital, it was back to school for me. I jumped right in with a full load of seven classes I taught, and I took another yoga class for my certification.

            It was a busy semester this fall filled with a lot of emotions for me. I love to teach and show my students how much writing can help them and how important it is. Sometimes with those teachings, I have to face the consequences of what they write in return. I have and always will encourage them to express themselves and write about what they feel they need to write about, but oftentimes, they share more in their writing than I expected. I honestly lost track of how many times that happened this semester. Let’s just say it was an emotional semester with the personal essays alone. I learned that just when you think you have it rough, there is always someone else that is worse off than yourself. There’s always someone else out there struggling, and we never truly know their struggles and how real they are. It’s also a reminder to be kind to everyone, for you never know how much each person endures.

            In my personal life, I was still struggling with emotions from everything with my dad as well as mourning a family member gone too soon. This, of course, caused my anxiety to kick in full force and at the drop of a hat. In the past four months, my anxiety and I have been having a true battle, but I refuse to let him win. That’s a post for another day. I went from my dad being in the hospital to going back to school with a full load to doing my normal load at home, and then, in September, my mom, dad, sister, brother, and I all flew out to Florida for a memorial service of my cousin.

It was a sad weekend, but an enlightening one at that. My immediate family members – mom, dad, sister, and brother – had not been on a family trip alone in a long time. After everything that happened with my dad, we all needed that trip together. We, as an immediate family, needed to be there for our extended family, and that’s exactly what we did. That time with them was so therapeutic for me. In the end, family is and always will be everything to me.

When I got back from our quick Florida trip, something changed for me. I don’t know exactly how to describe it other than I knew I needed to start making some changes in my life. It not only made me appreciate and cherish my family more, but after everything with my dad and being scared we may lose him, and seeing the sorrow of the loss of a loved one, I remembered that there’s so much more I want to do with my life. I want to accomplish more. I want to enjoy life and not take it for granted anymore. Life is too short to sit around and wait for things to happen. Life is about living in the now and enjoying every second you have with the ones you love.

Yes, over the past six months, life did get in the way. I may have been too busy to take the time to write on my journaling blog, but this time has taught me a lot. I must try to live more in the now and enjoy every second I have with the ones I love. I don’t want to be wrapped up in fake shit that means nothing in the long run. I want to be present. I want to be real. I want to live life to the fullest and not worry about what others think. If you don’t want to do the things I want to do, I will happily do them alone. I will not apologize for wanting to enjoy life and enjoy life in the present time. And, as we approach a new year, I wish the same for you. Live, laugh, love, and enjoy each other’s presence in real time; because, in the end, that’s what it’s all about.

So, how about you? Name a time when life got in your way. What were you missing out on?