Updated: What I would say to my teenage self…

I apologize for the month hiatus. It's been a busy month of grading at the end of the semester, then last week I was on a much needed vacation. As I scrolled through social media this weekend, I saw many posts of graduating teens getting ready for the real world. With that in mind, I decided to repost and update the following journal entry:

What I would say to my teenage self…

This week’s journal entry:

If you could say anything to your teenage self, what would it be? What kind of advice would you give?

By Laura Black

·         Slow down! Don’t be so quick to grow up. It’s not that easy. Enjoy being young with little responsibility while you can because the real world likes to devour you, chew you up, and spit you back out.

·         Love yourself before you love someone else (significant other) – it’s often hard to truly love someone if we don’t love ourselves first. If we don’t love and accept ourselves as we are, then we have a hard time truly loving others because we focus on their flaws, which might be similar to the flaws that we dislike about ourselves. We also need to love ourselves first to make sure we don’t become someone we’re not or don’t want to be truly. With love, we tend to get wrapped up in our significant other’s wants and needs, and we lose focus on ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves first, then we self-loath and lose ourselves in our significant other and are not true to ourselves. 

·         Be true to yourself – in order to be truly happy, you have to be true to yourself. You and only you have to live your life, and if you’re not true to yourself, then you won’t be able to be true to others as well.

·         Respect yourself – your body is your temple, so be respectful of your own precious life and respect your body as well as yourself. This includes your self-worth.

·         Spend time with family – if it weren’t for your family, especially your parents, you wouldn’t be here right now. Family is part of what makes you who you are, so spending time with them is essential. You should take advantage of whatever time you get to spend with them, whether it’s hours or mere minutes. There will be a time in your life that you’ll wish you spent more time with them. You also never know how long they will be around. No one lives forever, so take advantage of all the time you get with them while you can.

·         Spend time with friends, but don’t neglect your family to spend time with your friends – spending time with friends is important, but never let that time interfere with family time. Try to make those two separate from one another.

·         Enjoy life! – go outside and do things, travel, take and make adventures. Whether it’s alone or with others (family or friends), make sure you make the most of your life and the time you have. We never know when our own life will end, so try to enjoy anything and everything about your life while you have it.

·         Take time to smell the flowers – enjoy each detail of life and take the time to enjoy the little things, like smelling the flowers. To me, it’s all about the little things that mean the most to me. Whether it’s a little thing someone does or says, those little things end up meaning the most to me.

·         Be grateful to be alive – life is something we all take for granted at some point; however, as I mentioned above, we never know when our life will end, so be grateful for the time you have.

·         Respect human life – every person on this Earth has the right to live. Respect every human life that’s not your own, and treat them the way you would want to be treated. This also means to respect the death of any human and what their family members are going through during one of the saddest times in their lives.

·         Have empathy for others – be empathetic to others and try to imagine yourself in their situation. You never truly know what someone else is going through, so try to consider their feelings and circumstances.

·         Be kind to others – we are all battling our own personal battles, so always be kind to others. You don’t know what their personal struggle is. You should always treat others how you expect to be treated. If you’re not kind to others, then you can’t expect them to be kind to you.

·         Don’t be so judgmental – you don’t like being judged by others, so you shouldn’t be so quick to judge them as well. Again, we don’t know each person’s life story and what they’re personally going through, so don’t judge them without knowing all the details.

·         Don’t be fake – I dislike fake people. Be genuine. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, and don’t put on a façade for others. Just be yourself.

·         Respect your elders – your elders have lived before you and have knowledge you can gain from them. They are older and wiser; therefore, you should always respect them through your mannerisms around them, which includes how you talk to and interact with them.

·         Respect your parents and listen to what they have to say – you don’t have the answers yet, but your parents have lived through similar experiences, or they were at least your age at one point and have advice or guidance that might be helpful. They want you to succeed, and they don’t want you to make the same mistakes they did. Your parents always want the best for you, and they want you to be better and more successful than them.

·         Help and be there for others – if you expect others to help you and be there for you, then you need to do the same. It’s not just about you, so help others whenever you can. You may want help from them in the future. They will be more willing and likely to help you if you’ve been there for them in return.

·         Smile – when others see you smile, it is welcoming and makes you appear more pleasant. Plus, what if your simple smile can brighten up or make someone else’s day better. You never know.

·         Learn from your mistakes – you will make them. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, learn from them and move on.

·         Talk politely – yelling and screaming gets you nowhere, and in most cases and situations, it is disrespectful. If you need to raise your voice from time to time to get the point across, then do so. When you don’t talk politely to others, they will most likely not take you seriously, and you will not achieve the best results.

·         Be humble – it’s okay to be proud of your accomplishments and of who you are, but you don’t need to brag and boast in an obnoxious manner. 

·         You have to work hard to succeed truly – despite what many believe today, you will not be handed whatever you want in life. You will need to work hard to be successful truly. Yes, you may get lucky from time to time, but overall, hard work is what will get you far. Being lazy or expecting to receive what you think you’re entitled to will not get you far at all.

·         Step out of your comfort zone – by nature, I am an introvert. I would much rather keep to myself. I don’t like attention drawn to me at all. I’d rather stay under the radar. I am most comfortable when I’m sitting alone reading a book and not talking to anyone; however, those actions would not get me far in life. I am a teacher, so to stand up in front of a class every day as an introvert took a lot of stepping out of my comfort zone. Before I started teaching, I couldn’t imagine standing up in front of a group of people without panicking. Now, I can’t imagine not being able to teach and do what I love. Bottom line, there will be many times in your life where you will have to step out of your comfort zone. Even if you’re afraid, do it. It might be the best thing you’ve ever done, and you won’t know until you try.

·         Nothing is guaranteed – as I stated above, you will have to work for what you want. A perfect example of this is with college. Even if you graduate from college with a high GPA, it does not guarantee you’ll get a job right away. Yes, your chances are greater, but it still doesn’t guarantee it. Graduating at the top of your class also doesn’t guarantee you will make top dollar in your field of expertise. Most people in any particular field still need to work up to top dollar positions. You are not entitled to make top dollar just by graduating. You will have to earn that top dollar like the ones before you. Added to this, earning a degree in your field does not guarantee you will find a job in this field either. In the end, always know nothing in life is guaranteed, so work hard, play hard, and never give up on what you want.