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After spending an entire day and night with my girlfriends two Saturdays ago, I felt compelled to write about why it’s important to have time with your girlfriends. I don’t know that all women feel the same, but this is my personal take on the importance of that special time with your girlfriends. I’m so blessed to have so many fabulous girlfriends in my life, and I value every second I get to spend with each and every one of them whether as a group or time alone with each one.

Why It’s Important to Have Time with Your Girlfriends

By Laura Black

We live in a world where everything is go, go, go. There tends to be no time to slow down and take in our surroundings. We go from work to the grocery store to home. When we get home, we have to clean the house, make dinner, do the dishes, do the laundry, pay the bills, take care of kids, organize this that and the other, and at the end of the day, sit down to relax for maybe an hour, if we’re lucky, before we go to bed and get up and do it all again.

As a woman, most of the responsibilities mentioned above fall on me. I am super grateful that my husband does most of the cooking. For one, I absolutely HATE cooking, and I’m sure most people don’t want to eat my cooking anyway. I can do it if needed, but I never think my cooking is better than my husband’s. I’m sure the big difference is he actually likes cooking most of the time.

Anyway, back to the other responsibilities. I technically work two part-time jobs, but the amount of work I do is equivalent to one full-time job and a part-time job. I bust my ass to make nowhere near what a full-time teacher makes in my field. It’s super frustrating and exhausting, but getting into a full-time position in my filed is near impossible. So, I continue to bust my ass hoping not to have to work as hard someday.

Most of my work is done at home while I’m trying to run a household as well. As I said, I am lucky to have a husband that cooks most of the time. I also understand when he doesn’t want to cook. He rarely has a day off. He also works two jobs – one full-time and one part-time position. He works every day of the week unless he takes a vacation day off from his full-time position or he’s off for a holiday. The man is a workaholic for sure. I’m sure the last thing he wants to do when he’s home is cook or do anything else but rest. I feel the same way most of the time, but I still have laundry to do, dishes to wash, a house to clean, and bills to get paid.

By the end of each day, I am exhausted. I teach, come home to continue my teaching work, and I have to keep up with everything at home that needs to get done. I’m a bit of an OCD freak. Yes, my husband is aware of it, but I’m not sure he or anyone else knows how much of a freak I am. I want things done my way, and when I want something done, I want it done now. Not an hour from now or two days from now. NOW!!! I have a place for everything, too. If things are not put back in their proper place (proper place according to me), then I’m a freak about that as well. In fact, any time someone even leaves a light on in a room after they are done in said room, it freaks me out. I want that light off - NOW.

Of course, I don’t really share this with many because I’m sure they would think I’m a freak, so most of this I choose to keep to myself. I guess in a way I choose to pick my battles. Most of the time I feel it’s easier just to do things myself because they will either not be done the way I want them done, or they will not get done right now. So, in a way, I guess I put more work on myself than needed.

Over time, all the responsibilities placed on me tend to build up and get to me. I feel alone and frustrated. I know for a fact that I’m not alone with these thoughts; however, I tend to forget that from time to time. This is where the importance of my girlfriends comes in. These ladies have been in my life for a long time. Most of them have been around for more than half of my life. They know me well. Some know me better than I know myself. These girlfriends’ help to keep me grounded. They help me to stay sane. In some instances, they help me to remember I’m not alone. They keep me from shutting down and just walking away.

This brings me to why it’s important to have time with your girlfriends. My girlfriends are all running a household too. They understand what it takes to make it all come together, and they have similar frustrations of balancing it all out. When you have a bond with other women where you can openly discuss such frustrations, it makes a world of difference. Although we may feel all alone with these thoughts when we’re at home, when we come together we suddenly don’t feel so alone.

It not only allows us to catch up on what’s happening in each of our lives, but we are able to bitch together, laugh together, and completely be ourselves. We don’t have to worry about making sure the dishes are done, the house is cleaned, the bills are paid, the kids are fed, or anything else that we have to do in our daily lives. We can let loose and only worry about ourselves. We need that release. We need that time to regroup and go back to our daily lives.

I don’t know if this applies to all women, but for my girlfriends and me, without time with them, I feel defeated. I start to feel like I’m just going through the motions of life and holding on to frustrations that I know only my girlfriends will understand and be able to relate to. They are my sounding board, my rock, and my sanity. So, when the male counterparts say they don’t understand why you need time with your girlfriends, remind them of this: women have a bound that only we understand.

This bound is not something you should question, and it’s probably not something you’ll ever understand. We are not trying to exclude you or not involve you; we just need time for ourselves. We are not plotting against you or messing around behind your back. We are simply coming together to remind each other that we matter, we are worth it, and we are there for one another. As much as men think they are providing that for us, it will never be the same as the bond with your girlfriends. We know exactly what we need to hear and what will make it all better. So, let us have our day or night together. We will come back refreshed and ready to tackle the world. Believe me; you’ll be thankful later that we had our time to bond without you around. It’s honestly nothing personal.